Hello.  This post is directed at our Iranian friends. Are there any Iranians out there who have seen the recent American movie, or read the book on which it is _base_d, _title_d Not Without My Daughter ?  Sally Fields stars in the movie.  The story is true, and the mother is currently touring the USA giving lectures and telling her story.  My Mom saw her speak. The story, in quick summary, is about an American woman who marries an Iranian doctor who's lived in the US for many years.  He came to the US before the Islamic revolution, to go to college here I guess. They start a family and the Iranian husband is a doctor in a US hospital.   The day comes where he feels pressure from his Iranian family back home, who he talks to by phone periodically, to come for a short visit.  The wife agrees to go to Iran with their daughter.  They arrive in Iran.  This was several years ago.  To quickly summarize the rest of the book (my wife read the book, I saw the movie), the husband decides under pressure from his Iranian relatives to keep his wife and daughter in Iran for the rest of their lives.  The wife and daughter do not want to.  It takes them a year of humiliation and STRUGGLE to escape from the husband's family and from Iran. The husband had become violent, treating the woman like some sort of prisoner. Iran and Iranians are described as backward, primitive people whose culture is oppressive.  Full of noise and yelling.  Dirty.  In the house, people walk into the kitchen and eat out of pots simmering on the stove.  They throw salt onto the dirty floor for luck .  Outside, government guards roam around inspecting women on the street to make sure they stay envelepped in their ugly, hot chadors.  The woman escapes via a sort of underground railroad , through the mountains to Turkey.  She makes it to the US soon after.   Now, please don't feel that this book has formulated MY opinion of Iranians or Iranian culture.  I have several Iranian friends, and I cannot imagine that they are like the Iranians described in this book.  It seems to me that the Iranian family described in this book may not be typical.  I am posting this here precisely because I would like for some real Iranians to tell me what I'm not seeing.  I would expecially ask Iranians to read this book.  It would enable them to show me the book's shortcomings, if any, as well as to get insight into any resentment they may feel from Americans.  Americans get their impressions of Iranians from books like this.  It is a convincing book.  I would love to hear an Iranian tell me the book's shortcomings.   Thanks. +

Baa dorood: During my brief visit to Germany last summer, I found out that the book not without my daughter was the best seller in that country and the movie was playing even in some of the smallest towns there. The most interesting (and rather sad) experience I had was that when Germans whom I met during my train rides found out that I was from Iran, they immediately asked me about that book (or movie) and how much of it is true. Overall, my impression was that this movie had done extensive damage (intentionally or not, I don't know) about Iranians and Iranian culture. I just like to add that from some of my discussions with friends from the eastern hemisphere, countries like Japan, China, India, etc., families are also quite influential on their children's marriages and personal lives. Now if this is good or bad, that is another topic for discussion, but why in the world they pick Iran as one country to portray all the negative things they can find (and some not even true) about the eastern cultures? I don't know, do you?! Rooz khosh.

... ... into any resentment they may feel from Americans.  Americans get their impressions of Iranians from books like this.  It is a convincing book.  I would love to hear an Iranian tell me the book's shortcomings.   Thanks. Hi there I have seen the movie and in my opinion the whole thing is a shortcoming.   There has been a lot of exaggeration to make the story more interesting and 'movie looking'. I have been in Iran at the same time that the story has taken place and it is nothing even close to the setting of the story. I believe they have filmed it in some village in Israel. Reguarding the life_style_ and people, there is a small percentage of people whose life_style_ might come close to what she has described. But as I said there is a lot of fiction and exaggeration involved. Watching the movie, I felt like a hource with blinders, all I could see was what was prescribed by the writer and the director. I am sure if you go to Iran you would have a totally different view. I hope you find this helpful!  /Shahrokh Mofid     This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

here precisely because I would like for some real Iranians to tell me what I'm not seeing.  I would expecially ask Iranians to read this book.  It would enable them to show me the book's shortcomings, if any, as well as to get There is a new book published in Germany last month by German and Iranian coauthors as a response to the book Not without my daughter . The name of the book is Not without Betty Mahmoudi . It is a book that supposedly refutes a lot of the claims and events as described by Betty, point by point. You may be interested in getting a copy. I do not have the book, I have only heard about it. Regards, -Behzad

In article < This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it (Stan Mohler (SVER)) writes: | Now, please don't feel that this book has formulated MY opinion of Iranians | or Iranian culture.  I have several Iranian friends, and I cannot imagine | that they are like the Iranians described in this book.  It seems to me that | the Iranian family described in this book may not be typical.  I am posting this | here precisely because I would like for some real Iranians to tell me what | I'm not seeing.  I would expecially ask Iranians to read this book.  It | would enable them to show me the book's shortcomings, if any, as well as to get | insight into any resentment they may feel from Americans.  Americans get | their impressions of Iranians from books like this.  It is a convincing | book.  I would love to hear an Iranian tell me the book's shortcomings.   | Thanks. She was on of the morning talk shows (I think Operah (sp?)). I heard that she painted a terrible picture of Iranian men. Five American who live in our city and are married to Iranians men got very angry and got together and wrote a letter to the Operah (or whoever) and demanded that other American who have happy lifes with Iranian spouses should be given the opportunity to tell the other side of the story. They volunteered to appear on her show and talk face to face with Mrs. Mahmoodi. I hope it happens. | | +