nuthing else to write about. Don't care if anybody reads it or not. Actually prefer if nobody did. Nothing to do last Saturday. Was nothing much showing at the local Multi-Screen Hick-o-Plex except the latest big budget crapola. Wife wanted to go to town and see some sort of GIRLY film, but her perusal of the tabloid entertainment insert stuffed into the local propaganda rag falied (luckily or unluckily) to turn up any tribute-to-the-human-spirit movies featuring crampy, pissy hags on the cusp-of-something-or-the-other sitting around a vein-stripping clinic and whining wistfully about how life done passed them by, cracking rotten, cutesy jokes about their neanderthally oafish ex-husbands and whimpering and hugging each other and offering some kinda message that some people might find useful, but I really wouldn't know, because the one time I got hornswaggled into going to see a film that pukey I got up and left halfway through and went to radio shack and the wife sulked all the way home and said that wasn't fair because the week before she sat through some art-porn with me that I had to admit was pretty fucking boring, too, but at least it had some dago tits and ass in it, but my pointing that out to her didn't seem to strengthen my position any, at least as far as she was concerned, so I had to take her to dinner at a place WITHOUT a drive-thru window. Anyway, last week we couldn't find any art-porn or girly shit to torture the other one with, so we decided on what we thought was a fair compromise, a film that would make us BOTH sick, but hopefully would have some SO-FUCKING-BAD-IT'S-HYSTERICALLY-FUNNY high points. So we went to see Armageddon. It sucked. I mean it REALLY sucked. What's amazing is that it could suck to the extent that it did and NOT provide any of the unitentionally snort-producing camp that some of the previous all-time Stinkers like Steel and Zandalee and Waterworld did. But it didn't. It JUST sucked. Leapfrogged right over all the GOOD that can sometimes come from BAD shit and landed squarely in the super-suck-plane. And that's where it stayed. I know, I know. What did I expect? Goddam Bruce Willis movie, but hey, Die Hard II is one of the all-time great rotten films, the Fifth Element was lousy enough to be funny, and 12 Monkeys was a stunningly UGLY film that beat a long-dead horse with a total lack of panache and humor, so I figured there was a CHANCE I'd despise this film in the right way. But I didn't. Some parts actually made me downright queasy. In fact, ALL the romantic stuff between the gawky looking overracting pneumatic-lipped no-talent bimbo and the OBVIOUSLY pea-brained young-Mr-Green-Jeans looking oaf made me sick, especially the strained, putrid, genuinely nauseating pre-launch hootenanny. But I DID manage, in the middle of that, to get a swat from the wife, as well as get to put my thumb to my nose and go pffffffrrrrrr at a bunch of barely-illuminated buggy-eyed dirty-looking heads attached to the heaps of local lard that stopped chomping their salt and grease and sugared rat pellets and turned around in unison because I blurted: I think I'm gonna fucking vomit,  so it wasn't a TOTAL loss. Damned close, though. Anyway, I could tell you lots more, but suffice it to say the jokes suck, the cast is predictably stereotypical and poke-a-platypus-belly cutesy (especially the rooskie guy. JEEEZUS), the chick is ugly and they don't show her naked, and while they blow up tons of shit and I guess the special effects are good, you can only really enjoy them if you don't mind all sorts of loud noises in space and a disregard for mathematical and astrophysical principles so complete and profound that it makes Buck Rogers' scooting around in a spark-spewing finned dildo look like realtime footage of an Apollo mission by comparison. Anyway, I was a ashamed I stayed till the end, but at LEAST I got a half a laugh from the hideously contrived, predictable tear-jerkoff finale, but by then I was rooting for the rock, anyway. Sorta still am. Upright apes that can't think up anything better to do with 170 million bucks than crank out this shit OUGHTA be given the cosmic-mop treatment so the small stuff that can hide in holes can have another chance to evolve into something intelligent. Ah fuck it. Go on and waste yer dough if you want. Been warned.

yard man < This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it exploded: <acres of good ol' ugly american seething and grumbling snipped |Anyway, I was a ashamed I stayed till the end, but at LEAST I got a |half a laugh from the hideously contrived, predictable tear-jerkoff |finale, but by then I was rooting for the rock, anyway. Sorta still |am. Upright apes that can't think up anything better to do with 170 |million bucks than crank out this shit OUGHTA be given the cosmic-mop |treatment so the small stuff that can hide in holes can have another |chance to evolve into something intelligent. Y'know, this reminds me of a thought i had during Godzilla . They were talking about how these things could soon populate the entire world in a matter of a few years and be the dominant species on earth..... all i could think was the species that made this movie had obviously overextended its stay on earth and deserved extinction.

This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it YM Multi-Screen Hick-o-Plex except the latest big budget crapola. Wife     That brings back not so fond memories of going to the movies in  West Virginia. The year was 1991 and I can't remember what the  Hell I was there to see. I made the mistake of sitting all by my  lonesome some 20 minutes before the film was scheduled to roll.     The conduct of those people was reminiscent of the Theater Scene  from Gremlins . I tried not to make eye contact with the Alpha  males and ignored any thrown popcorn that landed near me. It's a  good thing raw fish wasn't on the refreshment stand menu..     Rural West Virginia is a neat place to explore though. Entire  mining operation buildings are there for all to explore. The old  FoMoCo. glass factories are still there, abandoned, as well as  numerous antique rail cars and related structures.  k_link_  http://localsonly.wilmington.net/k_link_/

we went to see Armageddon. Ah fuck it. Go on and waste yer dough if you want. Been warned. Hey, Mighty Nenslo went to see it with his (you'll pardon the _expression_) fucking MOM!  I was really impressed how they pulled EVERY string, pushed EVERY button, made EVERYTHING ten times more exciting than it needed to be.  And still END WITH A WEDDING!!  I was laffin and laffin how everything was so INFLATED. The headlong pace of whirling rocks and exploding spaceshuttles filled me up like a lukewarm family turkey dinner - I needed NO MORE of any of that sort of stuff for quite a while.  All I could do was let my belt out and groan. See, in some movies people always say things you never expected, in interesting ways.  Other movies are like operas or morality plays - characters say just what most people would want to be able to say in that situation, but much better.  Telling each other off, saying I Love You, outsmarting the heedless beaurocrats, DECIDING WHICH WIRE TO CUT AS THE COUNTDOWN GOES TO ONE DAMN SECOND LEFT.  By the end, there's no spot left unscratched and you go home emotionally sated.  I found the entire film magnificently overdone, from the first word of Charlton Heston's introductory narrative to the very end, falling short only in failing to close with a Randy Newman song.

{ There's no need to { invent soma when a couple of hours of brain-pummeling movies will do the trick. { It's almost as if the greater numbers of Pinks requires much stronger sensory { oversaturation, lest they realize just how crappy they have it. { How many people here live in a house or other domicile where there is a TeeVee that's ON ALL THE TIME?[1]  After YEARS of that sort of overstimulation, movies have to be that loud and that hurky-jerky JUST TO BE NOTICED. [1] Not me. I'm not one of those snobs who claims to have no truck with TeeVee; I've got one AND a VCR, AND cable.  But if there's not something on I particularly want to watch, I DON'T TURN THE THING ON.

we went to see Armageddon. Ah fuck it. Go on and waste yer dough if you want. Been warned. Hey, Mighty Nenslo went to see it with his (you'll pardon the _expression_) fucking MOM!  I was really impressed how they pulled EVERY string, pushed EVERY button, made EVERYTHING ten times more exciting than it needed to be.  And still END WITH A WEDDING!!  I was laffin and laffin how everything was so INFLATED. The headlong pace of whirling rocks and exploding spaceshuttles filled me up like a lukewarm family turkey dinner - I needed NO MORE of any of that sort of stuff for quite a while.  All I could do was let my belt out and groan. No, I don't pardon the _expression_. Why should I? What needs pardoning? The placement of a term associated with coitus so close to a reference to one's mother? Oedipus' biggest crime was getting worked up over a dumb-ass mistake